I title this entry as Patience for a reason. This is one thing that God is really working on in my life through this journey. And Patience is a must no matter which route one goes with a hearing loss, I have to admit there are times that "yes" I do get impatience through it, but keep reminding myself to push forward and be persistance. It reminds me of someone learning to walk or learn, like my niece Penny she is trying to pull herself up and than falls but keeps on trying. You take steps forward and back but continue making process. Even the slightest improvement is a gift. Right now it is exciting for me to noticed the little things that I can now hear.
Today I went on a walk, no no adventure in getting bit, but I heard some dogs barking, yes I look left, right. up, down and sometimes turn around and sit down until I locate the sound, but I heard the dogs barking. I continue to enjoy God's creation more and more as I hear all the birds and each having their different song. I can now identify a woodpecker with his sound. I think I am going to have to take my bird book back and try to figure out the birds through their songs. I have to remember one time I was so annoyed with the bird making a nest outside my window when I was young b/c they woke me up so early in the morning, now I am loving the sounds of the birds. And one thing is if I simply don't want to hear something I can simply take off my processor. One advantage with hearing loss/deafness.
The thing that caught myself on my walk this morning was there were children waiting for the bus to go to school. A first grader and third grader (guessing) said "hi"several times, I heard it but took time to locate direction. I waved back to them and said "Hi. Have a great day at school." They smiled back. As I continued walking I felt my hear sank and feeling overjoyed. Hearing children, even though they repeated. Still I heard it. Yes these are older children but it is a start. I am so glad that I did not take my music with me, rather enjoyed the sounds of nature. I have been exposing myself to children and yes older ones are better, still difficult but grasping it. Speech is still harder to gain and sounds are becoming more clear and identifying them through visual cues too. Voices are sounding less cartoonish, men's voices still can be high pitch and same with children's but making more things out.
There are times where I feel that yes I am overdoing it and have to step back and give myself a break, but I am missing the sounds so much and wanting to wear my processor all the time. This is one difference with me using the hearing aids. I continue to be amazed with all the things that I am hearing, much more than with hearing aids. I have to say I actually turned the radio lower for the first time in a long time.
Retraining your brain to hear and process takes PATIENCE and is very tiring. Just think of learning a new language or just having to relearn all over again. But it is paying off and keeping me motivated. I continue to progress with my balance and challenging myself in that area.
I am trying not to look at the whole picture, rather little steps and improvements.
As there are frustrating days and times of uncertainity I reflect on Psalm 121 reminding me that God is with me all the way of this journey. He will lead me through. It also helps me to remain patient and keep on going.
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