In the last several weeks I have been reflecting many things that God has been working on in my life and excited with many things that he is at work with. I am completely amazed through different things that happen through the week, I look back and know that it was meant to be and that he is teaching though many experiences I encounter as he turns everything for the good.
As some of you may know that I was re-evaluated for the second CI in August. Yes I am going through with that and surgery is October 31. As I knew and had an idea of where my hearing was in my left ear, I have to admit hearing the news as it was confirmed was a little shocking. It revealed that I have no understanding of speech in that ear with my hearing aids and I been fully communicating with the CI in my right ear.
Many people ask me "Do you ever question why?" or "Am I angry at God?" with everything going on. I have to say yes there are days I question but more rather turn it to "What God is teaching me through this time." No I am not angry at God. He is teaching me to trust him through all things and really in my heart being content and being at peace with my deafness. Yes I am hearing through my CI soon to be bilateral, but I still I am deaf and always will be. And it is okay. He is teaching me to look beyond my hearing and more my abilities in life. I am still Amber, just part of me I am deaf.
He is also teaching me the positives of being deaf and believe me there are more than you can think of.
As I look back prior to having my implant these are some things that I am able to do that I was not able to before and each thing is a true blessing from God:
-beginning to use my cell phone in quiet situations
-less relying on the caption phone and challenging myself not to read captions
-hearing things behind me
-hearing the lyrics to music
-detecting the wonderful natural and some annoying enviromental sounds
-hearing people knocking on the door
-beginning to hear the message in church
-hearing crying and voices of children (this bring tears of joy to me) and what they are saying
-being able to follow some/most of my small group at church
-ability to communicate and less have to rely on lip reading
-hearing thunder and storm (gotta love this one)
-simply things like the microwave, phone ring, water boiling, water running, footsteps
and the list can go on
There are times I do forget and people don't know that I have a hearing issue. I know I will run into barriers but I can function in the hearing world better and learning to work around my deafness. the most precious gift is hearing my nephew talk and other children and the ability to communicate with others. As my Dad stated to the doctors "I am hearing almost like normal" and that is true in certain environments. But good to hear that.
As I have been away from church and with family more the last couple weeks our connection is growing in a lot of ways being there for one another.
My kayak experience really was a turning point for me with my deafness as I forgot my waterproof processor and was deaf the whole way tipping over and almost drowning. I felt God with me all the way. My family knew and worked with me in joining me in conversation despite it with reading lips and hand signals. It was a fun yet adventurous experience, but God helped me look at it for the good and not my hearing or the meniere in the way of doing things. Looking beyond it
He is reminding me to trust in him through all things
The song that comes to mind is "The Word of God Speaks"
