Bilateral Halloween surgery and Sandy

Last week was crazy with the events of last week.  Sandy and surgery was enough of the exciting adventures but many more came with it.  The best thing is that I remained at peace with the situation.
Sandy came and we lost power, many things were shut down around us and I was concerned that my surgery was going to be cancelled.  Being hearing impaired and trying to use a cell phone when there is static can be quite intesting making a call to the hospital, but made out and left things in Gods hands.
I went down to my sisters the night before with my Dad and my friend staying with my sister.  I was nice to have a warm house and power there.  We arrive at the surgery center the next morning around 7:45 (my surgery was set for 9:45) and they quickly prepped me for surgery. The start rough with the start of the IV line.  I did not get back to surgery until close to 11 due to the delay of the person before me.  This time they would not let me walk in as I was unsteady on my feet.  Despite the challenges we talked about the storm and it was nice communicating with the staff as last time had to have everything written out for me.  I was kept overnight again with getting the pain managed and letting my stomach settle.  The nursing staff was great with handling my deafness this time around.  I did not eat anything until about 12 the next day.
No the doctors were not dressed in orange or black scrubs and the nurses I think they have to wear blue scrubs.  There was a family though having surgery and that they dressed up.  My surgeron was no vampire, but very gentle and kind with surgery.
I am doing well and in good spirits.  I spent several nights with my Dad b/c I did not have power and glad to spend some time with him.  the recovery has been the same but the difference is I knew what to expect and prepared for it, so things have been more at ease.Still unsteady but better than last. starting therapy next week. anxious to get back to running. It was nice having the company of Simba too, he never left my side.  Simba is such a healing dog.
With all the adjustments and changes, I been having a sense of peace.  God is surrounding me and providing for me in many ways.  And giving me the strength I need each day.
One thing that through Sandy, you really don't realize having electricity for granted when you lose it for several days. 
Surgery done and moving forward to activation and soon back to work :)

Surgery and Sandy OH MINE!!!

Well it is about 2 1/2 days from my surgery and we have a nasty hurricane Sandy plowing through Monday and Tuesday, right before my bilateral surgery.  This should be one adventureous surgery and sure I will have many stories to share.  I am feeling less anxious and getting very excited to finally be getting the other ear done and even more looking forward to working once again.
I am just asking you to join in prayer with me for safe travels to Baltimore and home as we travel down on Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning. Also that the surgery not be cancelled.
We are expecting very heavy rains and power outages and very strong winds.  Question Is my recovery going to be like a hurricane or not?
I am praying that the surgery remains on as I have been waiting for this day.  But trusting in God through all things.  :)
Stay safe those who live on the East Coast :)

Bilateral coming soon

Alright down to the last week before surgery. I lot of mixed emotions, but very ready and excited for the surgery and things are coming together.
I am just finishing up some last minute things and enjoying this beautiful weather in getting outside. One thing that I recently did, soon after finding out that I was going bilateral, I thought "I don't need my hearing aids any longer why let a great pair lie around."  I have heard of many people donating hearing aids and decided to give them to a really good friend that would benefit from them.  I am glad to know that she is finding them very helpful and even more so looking forward to having her help me out with the surgery.  It was not hard letting go of them and feel even better giving them to someone who really could use them.
One prayer is for relief of the vertigo and for it to settle down.  I know it will get worse before better and will not see if it really helped for several weeks.  But this is one of the goals of my surgeon as to help me to regain my hearing back in the left ear. I am eager to get back to work and working with children again.
As some of the days I am anxious but more over ready, I am trusting in God through this journey and know that he is with me all the way and I have my angel with me too (my mom).  In the last week the verse Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."
As I went to running with a friend we spotted deer on the path, I was amazed that the deer just stood and watched us pass.  They gave me a sense of peace as they were relaxed right there and a reminder of not to worry.

Alright 13 days til being Bilateral Bionic Women (wired for sound)

The last several weeks sped by fast and now only 13 days left until I go Bilateral with the cochlear implant.  I often think back to when I was getting evaluated for the first one and did not think that I would have both ears done in the same year, but it is really happening.
All pre-op stuff is completed and now just waiting for the day to come. Between resting and getting ready, I have been helping a family out with two children who they also lost their mom suddenly the same year I did and helping my dad with yard work and cleaning the house for him when I am feeling good. 
At this point people are asking questions "Are you nervous?"  "Are you sure this is the right direction to go?"  As I look at these questions, I reflect back on the way people doubted when Jesus rose from the grave.  In response to these questions, No I am not nervous or anxious, I am excited more over and ready.  Ready to being hearing on both sides (come end of November) and ready for some relief from the menieres attacks. I know that my hearing will never be perfect but this is the best thing that I can do for myself to help me to be able to return to work and feel better.  So yes this is the right direction to go.  I spent a lot of time praying for this and direction of where God is leading me.  One thing I look forward to is not having to worry about which side someone is on to be able to hear.  I know my right ear my be dominant now and that there will still be obstacles.  I will always be deaf yet hearing too.
My family and I joke about putting all the annoying sleeping habits that people pose when we go away with me, b/c it does not bother me and I sleep right through it.  So bring on the coughers, baby crying and snorers. :) 
God is continuing to teach me contentment through this time and really learning to trust in him through all things. Just continuing to pray for continued guidance and wisdom with working with the doctors.
No I am not looking forward to recovery but know that there is light at the end and God will give me the strength that I need every step of the way and the courage to embrace through the challenges.
Thank-you for your continued support and prayers through this long journey :)

Looking Beyond

In the last several weeks I have been reflecting many things that God has been working on in my life and excited with many things that he is at work with.  I am completely amazed through different things that happen through the week, I look back and know that it was meant to be and that he is teaching though many experiences I encounter as he turns everything for the good.
As some of you may know that I was re-evaluated for the second CI  in August.  Yes I am going through with that and surgery is October 31.  As I knew and had an idea of where my hearing was in my left ear, I have to admit hearing the news as it was confirmed was a little shocking.  It revealed that I have no understanding of speech in that ear with my hearing aids and I been fully communicating with the CI in my right ear. 
Many people ask me "Do you ever question why?" or "Am I angry at God?" with everything going on.  I have to say yes there are days I question but more rather turn it to "What God is teaching me through this time."  No I am not angry at God.  He is teaching me to trust him through all things and really in my heart being content and being at peace with my deafness.  Yes I am hearing through my CI soon to be bilateral, but I still I am deaf and always will be. And it is okay.  He is teaching me to look beyond my hearing and more my abilities in life.  I am still Amber, just part of me I am deaf.
He is also teaching me the positives of being deaf and believe me there are more than you can think of. 
As I look back prior to having my implant these are some things that I am able to do that I was not able to before and each thing is a true blessing from God:
-beginning to use my cell phone in quiet situations
-less relying on the caption phone and challenging myself not to read captions
-hearing things behind me
-hearing the lyrics to music
-detecting the wonderful natural and some annoying enviromental sounds
-hearing people knocking on the door
-beginning to hear the message in church
-hearing crying and voices of children (this bring tears of joy to me) and what they are saying
-being able to follow some/most of my small group at church
-ability to communicate and less have to rely on lip reading
-hearing thunder and storm (gotta love this one)
-simply things like the microwave, phone ring, water boiling, water running, footsteps
and the list can go on
There are times I do forget and people don't know that I have a hearing issue.  I know I will run into barriers but I can function in the hearing world better and learning to work around my deafness.  the most precious gift is hearing my nephew talk and other children and the ability to communicate with others.  As my Dad stated to the doctors "I am hearing almost like normal" and that is true in certain environments.  But good to hear that.
As I have been away from church and with family more the last couple weeks our connection is growing in a lot of ways being there for one another.
My kayak experience really was a turning point for me with my deafness as I forgot my waterproof processor and was deaf the whole way tipping over and almost drowning. I felt God with me all the way.  My family knew and worked with me in joining me in conversation despite it with reading lips and hand signals.  It was a fun yet adventurous experience, but God helped me look at it for the good and not my hearing or the meniere in the way of doing things.  Looking beyond it
He is reminding me to trust in him through all things
The song that comes to mind is "The Word of God Speaks"

Rejoicing through the Obstacles

As I have been going through many mixed feelings these last several weeks, God is teaching me to really trust in him through the obstacles that I am facing and also seeing the light through it all.  Also just as I continue working in my garden, it a great therapy for me.  Bring on the digging in the dirt.  Totally love it.  Yes it may sound crazy but so true.
I often get a sense of what my mom would say through this time and just her spirit is in my heart even though she is not here presently with me.

"Even through the difficult days as things may look gloomy and bleak, there is a light shining ahead. As things may feel discouraging and scary at times, there is hope in the end and a positive outcome. No matter how gloomy things look, looking up on the positive side, I see hope and encouragement through it all.  And God is with me all the way.  Every step I take."

This is one thing that I took away from meeting with my doctors and audiologist this week. As I received results of my hearing.
After that appointment, as I was trying to sleep and take all of it in several songs came to mind and I sang myself to sleep.  "I need Jesus,"  "Give me Jesus,"  "Amazing Grace," Never Once," " My Life Flows On," and "Oh no you Never let Go."

Graditude and Wow moments

As many of you know that I have been doing a lot of gardening.  This has been extremely helpful for me and God has been teaching me through it.  It is my second year and this year much more successful.  The animals stayed away let's just say. As my garden is producing summer squash, red beets, cucumbers, green bean, peppers and tomatoes, each vegetable is giving me a reminder in life right now.  He is reminding me mainly that he loves me for who I am and that he created me special and unique as each of my vegetables have taken some unique shape or form. And his love for each of us.

                                              My TWO UNIQUELY YOU cucumbers
A wow Moment:
Several weeks ago I went for a walk with a friend at the park.  There was a biker behind us, I looked back and my friend pulled me aside for my safety.  She asked if I hear them because I looked back.  I did not hear them, but I have learned to look back making sure.  We went for a walk again on Tuesday and this time a biker called from behind "on your left"  I heard them and the exact words.  I looked at my friend and gave a smile and said "I heard that."  I am beginning to hear more thing behind me.